It’s over, finished

It’s over, finished

It’s over

Unexpected, surprising and I am stunned

Gasping for breath

Trying not to cry

Unable to bring the tears for showing

Can’t even shout at him

Or to run after him

He just got off and left

His drink just sits there across from me

And I sit

I remember when we came here for the first time

He sat next to me

We sipped and talked and smiled

His hand was on my knee and then inside my thigh

Fingers drifted towards my panties

I got so wet as he rubbed and teased and I smiled and gasped

And he stroked my hair

And I rubbed his cheek

Leaned over and kissed him and kept kissing him

All he said was that it was over, done

No going back just forward towards where I asked

No holding my hand as he repeated

It was nice and now it is over

And he didn’t look at my eyes

Just stuck, staring into his lap

No preamble

No parting comment or synopsis,

Or one more embrace

Why,

What now,

Who was he when I loved him

And now

Do I send back his lingerie gifts

The book of poems

His musical notes

The rings, the gold necklace that was too long

His private diary just for my eyes

The special sneakers that are still under my bed

His shirts, underwear, sweaters, thumb nail drives, audio books, box of licorice

So much more about what to do with memories